Have you found yourself yet?

Have you found yourself yet? And if so, how?

Maggie O’Farrell, author of seven very successful novels, has worked out who she is using her seventeen (that is correct) brushes with death, and has put it all together for us in her memoir: I Am, I Am, I Am.  And it is very good.

O’Farrell has had a truly amazing life. Seventeen times she very nearly died (think attacks on lone walks, aeroplane near misses, medical blunders and and and and), but seventeen times she came back to live another day. These experiences have taught her a lot about herself, and she has assembled each episode into this uniquely structured memoir. After reading this book, it is almost impossible not to compare, to think back on one’s own life to times of danger or to those fleeting moments when guiding forces seem to have  intervened and prevented something truly awful from happening. I have not had a life like O’Farrell’s. And I come from Africa.

But what if you did know the exact day when you were destined to die? Is this something you would want to know? And how might it affect your life?  The Immortalists explores this option after four young siblings consult a travelling fortune teller who predicts the exact death date of each of them. Half way through this novel I wouldn’t have minded if all four Gold siblings had died at the same time, like immediately, but it is worth it to hang in there as it’s a book that gets better in the second half.

Could it be instead that some of us live lives that have been shaped by the small, by a huge number of minor chords, by repetitive everyday attrition, by little tests that slowly reveal who we are?  Personally, I love to be told about myself by answering a gazillion questions (think the Enneagram and Myers-Briggs). I also suspect my birth date has subliminally influenced me. And this has been all well and good, until the library poster for the Lunar Year of the Dog arrived at work. To my dismay I see I am an Ox: steady, loyal, determined, blah blah blah. Just say “plodding” and be done with it why don’t you? I love my western Astrology sign of Sagittarius, but I am not a happy Ox.

Then I happened to glance at the top of this draft page and saw that this is my 200th library blog post.

I am indeed doggedly bullish. But I like to think of myself as an Ox armed with a Sagittarian bow and arrow with which to optimistically shoot my ideas all over the place. Maybe this is how I have found myself. Maybe it is with this kind of action I prove to myself: I Am, I Am, I Am!

读《茱萸的孩子：余光中传》，忆乡愁诗人余光中 “Nostalgia poet” Yu Guangzhong

每逢佳节倍思亲。在春节探亲访友之际，海外的华人都以各种方式表达对故土和亲人的思恋。朗诵余光中的《乡愁》往往成为人们表达这一情感的一种方式。台湾著名诗人、文学评论家、教育家、翻译家余光中先生以脍炙人口的《乡愁》赢得了“乡愁诗人”的称号。 然而，他对华人社会的贡献远远超出了这一称号冠以他的殊荣。在他的一生中， 余光中先生发表了多部诗集、散文和翻译作品。每首诗文都得益于他在一定时代背景下真实的情感和体悟。所以，他的作品能牵动亿万华人的心。傅孟丽的《茱萸的孩子：余光中传》是走进这位大师的世界，理解他的诗文的最好导读。

《茱萸的孩子：余光中传》的中文简写本完成于2007年。余光中先生于2017年病逝。因此，这本书记录了余光中先生一生的重大事件，算得上是一本较完整的传记。在书中，作者将余光中先生的一生分成五个阶段，包括大陆时期、台北时期、赴美时期、香港时期和高雄时期。以此为主线，作者也侧写了余光中先生的家庭、亲情、爱情、友情、师生情和个人性格，以达到“横看成岭侧成峰”的效果。

尽管该书各章节之间的连贯性似乎不太明显，作者严谨的写作态度值得称颂。每一事件的资料都来源于详细访谈，经过多方核实。作者很巧妙地避免了写传记时易走的两个误区。既没有将该传记写成“供词”以暴露不必要暴露的隐私；也没有将其写成“颂词”而一味歌功颂德。书中呈现的是一位有七情六欲、经历丰富的文化人—有过儿时对战争的恐惧、青壮年时的壮志凌云、客居他乡时被排挤和最终的功成名就。

这本书的另一个读点就是它将余光中先生的一生不同时期的作品和他的生活境遇有机地结合起来以解读这些作品。读过该书，您会对下面一系列问题有更清晰的答案：为什么余光中先生在散文《从母亲到外遇》中说：“大陆是母亲，台湾是妻子，香港是情人，欧洲是外遇。”？《沙浮投海》和《舟子的悲歌》表达了大师怎样的心境？为什么诗集《莲的联想》在台湾诗史的演进中很珍贵？《白玉苦瓜》的音乐性从何而来？余光中先生什么时候写了《三生石》？

如果您喜欢读余光中先生的作品，《茱萸的孩子：余光中传》是一本必读的书。建议您首先读这本书，然后通过以上链接欣赏他的作品。这样，您可能对大师的作品会有更深的领悟。同时，也欢迎您加入我们的读书会微信群（微信号：hongwangccl），参加我们的余光中作品在线讨论。

Zhu yu de hai zi