Lock Up Your Daughters

The highly processed and idolised boy band One Direction is landing in our fair city next week, so here is a warning for one and all. I live over the fence from the venue, so I’ll be reminding my husband to turn down his hearing aids lest the squealing does even more damage to his old rocker ears. We’ll have a first aid station set up at our gate to assist the fainters as well.

Put together to appear on UK X Factor 2010, and placed third, they were snaffled by manufactured music mogul Simon Cowell and the rest, they say, is history. They have amassed a personal combined wealth of $25 million and cause a mass fluttering of tween and teen hearts around the globe.

cover of One Direction

Boy bands are not a new phenomenon. Think back to Frankie Vali and the Four Seasons, The Osmonds, The Beatles (OK, maybe not quite in the same vein, but they did get the screamers and fainters), The Monkees and The Jackson Five,  through to The Bay City Rollers, New Kids on the Block, Boyz ii Men, Westlife, ‘NSync, Jonas Brothers and who could forget The Hansons.

It’s all about repressed sexuality, unattainable perfection and being oh so ‘on trend’ it’s oozing out of their pores. I’ve heard young girls say their favourite 1D member is the best because “he really gets me and understands me!”

Baby you light up my world like nobody else. The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed. And when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell. You don’t know-oh-oh, you don’t know you’re beautiful. If only you saw what I can see, you’d understand why I want you so desperately. Right now I’m looking at you and I can’t believe, you don’t know-oh-oh, you don’t know you’re beautiful. That’s What Makes You Beautiful – One Direction Lyrics

The ability for young girls to attach themselves to complete strangers is what drives the sales, I must confess here to a major crush on Paul Stanley from Kiss in the seventies: those deep brown eyes and gorgeous curly hair… I bet he ‘got me’, sigh!

So, lock up your daughters, or at least check what they are wearing before they leave for the concert, so you can say “You’re not leaving the house in that.”

Did you have a boy (or girl band for that matter), that you loved, or still do? Confess, you won’t be judged.

5 thoughts on “Lock Up Your Daughters

  1. Laraine 8 October 2013 / 10:11 am

    I’d never heard the term “manufactured music” before. It sounded like something you asked a machine or computer to do for you because you were too lazy to do it yourself. So I went to amazon.com and had a quick listen to the first three tracks on this album. My father used to tell us what rubbish we listened to (in the fifties) and we privately agreed that Elvis Presley’s One Night was every bit as horrid as Dad thought it was, though there was no way we would admit it. However, the songs from the fifties sound like positive masterpieces compared to this.

    • purplerulz 9 October 2013 / 12:17 pm

      A lot of it is made with computers, machines and auto tune – not a real instrument in sight sadly sometimes. If you want to know how talented some of these guys are, check out concert footage on You Tube… can’t hide in real time… although some are know to mime!

  2. Robyn 8 October 2013 / 10:36 am

    I absolutely loved The Monkees. There – proof not only that I had no taste but that I am officially 150 years old. I believe I may have even squealed when the credits started every Tuesday night. In the 1970s I became aware of the dangers of boy bands when a friend got a job selling merch at The Bay City Rollers concert at Addington Show Grounds. The fans were so over-excited they knocked her off her feet to get at the tartan tat on offer.

    • jane 8 October 2013 / 11:33 am

      yep, Davy Jones in the Monkees. Tragic

      • purplerulz 9 October 2013 / 12:15 pm

        yes, he definitely got my heart fluttering!

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