We watch a lot of movies at home. We’re not fussy – between the four of us, we’ll happily watch all sorts of films, from adventure to horror to documentary, foreign language, travelogues, arthouse festival, zombies and rom-coms and combinations of any and all of the above. And so it always takes us by surprise when we start to watch something that turns out to be unwatchable. Often we persevere because we can’t quite believe anything that costs so many millions could be quite as bad as it is. And somehow it feels worse to stop watching a movie after half an hour than it does to put down a book that’s turned out to be rubbish. Weird, isn’t it?
It also feels wrong to be criticising library items, when we are supposed to be all about encouraging people to take home and enjoy DVDs from our collection of (really truly MOSTLY) great titles. However, following on from Donna’s Top 5 list, I thought I’d balance the universe out a bit by listing some of our recent movie fails:
- The Three Musketeers (most recent version, obviously) – lasted 20 minutes, possibly filmed with pre-teen boys as main target audience.
- Transformers 3 – Dark of the Moon – less than 15 minutes, I think. Even the cool transforming bits couldn’t save this one.
- The Green Lantern – nearly half an hour, but only because we couldn’t find the DVD remote. Seriously, Peter Sarsgaard, what were you thinking?
- Pineapple Express (okay, this one was only a ‘fail’ for the middle-aged ones – the two teenagers had already watched it and pronounced it aMAZingly funny).
- Sector 7 – longest monster death scene EVER. This one we actually lasted the whole movie through, but mainly because none of us could figure out how a movie with so much promise (transparent underwater monster! isolated oil rig! scientists! motorcycles!) could be so utterly mesmerisingly awful.
Seen any of these yourself? Agree or disagree? Tell me below, or just use this as a chance to unload YOUR Worst 5 …