I love, love, love The Literary Review’s Bad Sex in Fiction Award. Every year, since 1993, the English broadsheets roll out their uniquely tame brand of innuendo and double entendre, as they attempt to get down and dirty covering the award’s short-list and winner. Hurrah for November silly season!
This year, added interest was aroused with speculation that Tony Blair’s mea non culpa The Journey would make it onto the previously fiction only short-list. The judges finally decided that while Blair’s sexual recollections were revoltingly memorable, they were not of sufficient length to merit inclusion. Ha.
The proud winner, who collected his award in person on Monday night, was Rowan Somerville with his novel The shape of her. Not content to just write icky sex scenes he managed to insult the entire English race by declaring “There is nothing more English than bad sex, so on behalf of the entire nation I would like to thank you”. No, thank you Mr Somerville. To sample his goods read The shape of her, or try one from the shortlist: